This is a big word with more meaning than most people realize. It’s a verb, it’s a noun, it’s an adjective, and it describes so many facets of life. It needs to happen at certain times in our lives, but it doesn’t…and then it begins to happen at times when we don’t expect it. We go through trauma and then many times suppress it with outside influences…which are really just crutches. Alcohol, drugs, coffee, smoking, these are all things that have the possibility of numbing the trauma; however, it always comes back to haunt us at some point.
The more we suppress the trauma, the more that will come out when the floodgates finally open.
Another big word. Emotional structures that hold back feelings, and then when they break, a bunch of crap comes out. Like a flood, parts of our emotions are pure like water, and other parts are refuse that has settled at the bottom or has been picked up along the way. All that crap has to be filtered out before the water can become pure again. And sometimes, parts of that water will never be clean…but the filtration process takes place nonetheless. Obviously if we want the cleanliness back, we can’t filter quickly. Sometimes though, that’s the part that hurts the most. We want to heal, and we want it to happen now…but it never happens that way.
So I think I should treat it like a plant instead of something that I can control. Like a plant, there are certain aspects that I can control: preparing the area, planting the seeds, and watering and feeding the plant. But the real growth…
That’s all on the plant’s terms.
And I don’t like to give up control…but I’ll do it.