Clown Cars and Music Theory


After I wrote my first blog about our new church (“Amalgamate”) I received a few “concerned” emails.  These emails expressed what boils down to a fear for my eternal soul.  Apparently the church that we’re attending is “too accepting,” and according to these people, that is a problem.  How funny that a church where they actually act the way Jesus did is the “wrong type” of church.  Go figure.  That being said, I was reminded by a friend of a bumper sticker that says “God Loves Everyone–No Exceptions.”  I found that somewhat humorous in light of the current situation.  I was told that we shouldn’t pick a church because we agree with their “opinions” (I put that in quotes because that it what the email said).  Well…at least to me, agreeing with the message seems to be an important criterion.  Maybe I’m crazy, but I wouldn’t pick a church where I don’t agree with anything they say–that would just be stupid.

Fast forward to my most recent blog about the theory papers that I wrote.  A seemingly non-religious subject: music theory.  I have been informed that I am wrong…through more emails.  What I gathered from the majority of these emails is that college was a time for me to get all of that pesky independence out of my system and meet a husband.  Apparently I was supposed to be spending thousands of dollars on tuition in order to get an M.R.S. degree.  I thought these people had met me before, but I’m guessing they never paid any attention to my actual personality.  According to most of them, this music theory business is just the inevitable next step of Satan trying to get his hooks in me (their words, not mine).  The first step was us going to this church that is “so focused on accepting everyone and all that diversity nonsense.”  Still not grasping the connection between the two subjects at all, but whatever.  Many of them told me that now that I’m 30, it’s time for me to settle down with this “school nonsense,” be a “good housewife,” and focus on having lots of babies.  Wow.  Who knew that it was supposed to happen like that?  We won’t even go into the “focus on having babies” part, as I might have a little [precedented] explosion…you know, like the kind you have when inadvertently provoked in the middle of some random store amongst unknowing people…yeah, that kind.

Needless to say, I deleted quite a few people from my Facebook friends list in the past couple days.  I’m sorry if they think that the church we love is evil, just because they don’t preach all the fire and brimstone nonsense and they actually accept everyone.  I’m sorry if they think that I should become a “good housewife” and settle in to spend the rest of my child-bearing years cranking them out like a clown car.  But more than anything, I’m sorry that they don’t grasp the actual concept of the religion they claim to practice.  Social justice, environmentalism, equal rights, activism, helping those in need…I’m pretty sure these are foreign concepts to most of these people…and I’m willing to put money on the fact that they won’t ever want to learn about them.

Just a random observation from the world of feminist, educated, logical, socially conscious Lauren.


4 responses »

  1. What people fail to realize is that “purpose” is different for different people. I know that God made me with certain gifts and talents, and I make it a point to use those talents to bless others in the way that God intended. Lessening yourself to ONLY fawn over your husband and pop out children does nothing to serve God if He has additional plans for you. By exploring what passions He gave you, you will be able to do the same. Once you’re equipped to teach, who knows what future music ministers you will be able to shepherd with your knowledge of music? I have no issue with those who focus their energy on childcare and I applaud them for doing it… as long as that is their spiritual gift. By educating and equipping ourselves, we are able to touch and nurture many people that need it, possibly in ways that we can’t even imagine.

    • I think you are exactly correct Karen, as evidence has shown even throughout the short two months of our friendship. Everyone has gifts to share, and how those gifts affect those around you is an unknown until it actually happens. If those gifts are given to us by God, who are we to shun them in lieu of “traditional” gender roles?

  2. Seems like a few people are suffering from religious Stockholm Syndrome. Not everything in our lives can be based on the bible. If that were so, why are we using electronic media as it is not mentioned? The hijacked phrase “Who would Jesus Bomb” is a very pressing and pertinent phrase. Where in the bible does it mentioned Jesus stoning anyone? It seems so many people pick and choose what they want to believe that Christianity is turning into a Wendy’s fast food restaurant. What matters is that you are living a life fulfilled.

    Wuv you honey

  3. “Bible Bound Bible Belt Broads,”
    ~ The Musical! ~


    “I’m dreaming of White Christians.”

    “The devil’s school turned my daughter into a PhDee, mon.”

    “I became a paralegal and married A LAWYER! (Tra, La!)”

    “I’m dreaming of White Christians.” (reprise, segues into the tap dancing big finish finale –
    “The world can never have enough White Christians.”

    … there is a reason I do not at all trust text as set to music, but pay attention only to ‘the song of the notes themselves.’ because, no matter how accurately used, words are Inherently Corrupt and people corrupt words on a regular basis.

    Collections of literature, after the fact, compiled and claiming to be ‘what they say he said,’ written and re-written by others, ‘ours’ translated from one spoken dialect into another regional language and then several others and later again from copies of copies – King James dictating to his scholars to cast the translation in the loftiest and most noble sounding phrases, that translation tens of thousands of words short in vocabulary from the original texts, apart from occasions like twenty different vernacular terms all translated as ‘prince’, many more words were eliminated to make that translation accessible to the laity.

    well – I don’t call any of that very RELIABLE, would you?

    “Your mother is an educated woman, not that it is visible to the naked eye.” [ from the 1952 film comedy, “It grows on trees.” with Irene Dunne and Dean Jagger ]

    I read of a woman who, after all was said, checked and done, was told she would not bear children. Truly loving children, she went and earned herself several diplomas and certificates, and became one of the most outstanding and well-noted kindergarten / primary school teachers, directly caring for and positively affecting twenty to thirty children each year for decades.

    So – the way is one, the paths are many, or some such 🙂

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